The Shadow Lord's Fall
by shiri-san
Summary: The Shadow Lord is once again planning an attack on the city of Del. Will he succeed this time or will he finally concede to the Resistance's power? This is really funny if i didn't edit it too much


A/N: I have written this story since god knows when (probably 4 to 6 years ago) but I'm really sorry that I only uploaded this today. I've been busy and I didn't have internet then as I do now… so…

So sorry for being late. (Bows for your apology)

Don't worry, I can make that up if you're looking for some "rolling on the floor laughing my evil ass off" kind of humor then you came to the right place.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Characters here. Deltora Quest does for them but I'm proud to say that the Resistance is still alive! Hooray for us! Goodbye to the Shadow Lord.

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The Shadow Lord's Fall

By Shiri Chizumi

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The _evil_ Shadow Lord was looking at the city of Del from his _evil_ hiding place.

"hmm… How to torture the people of Del? How do I torture the people of Del! Hmm… think, think, think!"

"Grey Guards! How do you suppose I destroy the people of Del, now?"

The Leader of the Guards grunted.

"Speak normal English! I can't understand grunts!"

The Leader turned to a fellow Guard then grunted to him instead.

"Uh-huh… Uh-huh… then what? Uh-huh… Yeah…. Ok…." Said the guard nodding in agreement to whatever his Leader had to say.

Suddenly, someone taps him on the shoulders.

When he turned around and saw the face which caught his attention, he started to scream. The Shadow Lord confused by why his guard was screaming, looked at the mirror on the wall and started screaming himself.

They both continued screaming till the Leader of the Grey Guards looked at them both and mimicked them.

The Shadow Lord hearing the low screams, stopped. When both of his guards wouldn't stop, he pulled out a paper fan and whacked them both hard on the head.

After reminiscing the shiny bumps on their heads, they both looked at their master and started screaming once again.

The Shadow Lord, thinking that something was wrong, shrieked with them too. Now worst than ever hopping around the room like a little girl. When he heard two voices filled with laughter rather than 3 different pitches of screaming, he stopped hopping and looked at his guards.

They were laughing at him!

He pulled out his "magical" fan once again and swatted them on the head where they didn't have bumps yet.

"I work with no one but imbeciles… Argh! Where was I again!"

one of his men handed him the script.

"After laughing…. Hit with paper fan… etc. etc…. Oh, right. Here I am! Now! Onto the city of Del!"

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Meanwhile…

"Barda! Lief!"

Three heads automatically turned towards her direction and armed their spears to prevent her from entering.

"…I-I m-mean… K-King Lief…"

"Jasmine! Let her through… Let her through…" said the king.

The Royal guards stepped aside and made way for her.

Pleasantries are exchanged before they came to the reason what she was doing in his castle.

"I have bad news, Lief…" realizing she forgot the word "king" she backtracked and apologized.

The Young King laughed.

"It's alright. You met me as Lief, and you will certainly address me as Lief. Now, what were you saying again, Jasmine?"

"Cree has seen a very bad sign. She told me that the Shadow Lord is coming to the city."

"How about his infantry?" asked Barda.

"he has at least 300 guards with him, today." reported Jasmine. "We must take them out now while we still have the chance!"

"I'm afraid that's not such a very bright idea, lassie."

"And why not!" hissed Jasmine. "And when ever did I become a 'lass' in your eyes?"

The aged man laughs. Not his usual but a bit gentler this time.

"Ever since I met your father…" Barda takes no time for her to absorb that thought as he says "there's too much of them and only a handful of us. They may not be smart but they certainly have more manpower—monster-power I mean, than we do."

"Barda's right, Jasmine. We need to form a plan. Have Doom and Steven up here as well. We need the whole Resistance and as many warriors as we can right now. We are not going to let that evil Shadow Lord rule this city!"

"Right!" they said as they ran off to their own posts.

The evil Shadow Lord has seen the city of Del… and all its wonders.

"Ahh… the city I have come so to love…"

He then laughs hard. "And to destroy!" he laughs harder until a fly comes to his mouth.

And some of its… well… un-wonders.

"You… freaking things!" he shouts in between chokes. "What… are you doing… just… standing there! H-h-h-He-He-Help me!" he manages to say.

One of them was brave enough as he stood next to his master and offers him a glass of water.

He drinks up, thinking it is water when he suddenly spits everything out.

"What is this wretched thing!" he asks studying the foreign liquid.

A guard answers him in grunts.

"Translator!" he yells.

His favorite guard automatically runs toward the Shadow Lord and talks once again with the guards.

"Hmm… Uh-huh… I see… Alright."

"So?" The Lord asks. Not bothering to tap him on the shoulder like he did the last time. It was painful to remember.

"Um… my Lord, the gulp the guard says… (whisper) (whisper)"

The Shadow Lord lost all the color in his face (black color, I mean) and turned white as he fell onto the ground.

"My Lord! My Lord!" cried the Translator. "What happened to you, my Lord! A glass of water if you may!"

The Guard thinking that his master had heatstroke or something and thought he fainted, splashed the glass with water. His master sat up from his lap.

"W-Wha…W-wha-what happened!"

"My master!" the guard said with gleaming eyes.

He was about to give the Shadow Lord a kiss when he (the Shadow Lord) clapped the guards head and prevented him from doing so.

"Eck! What the hell as gotten into you! A-and… why is my face wet!"

The guard still had his lips puckered when he tried to explain.

"Mm-mm… um-mm…"

Noticing that his guard now looked like a talking fish, he released him and _almost_ allowed him to _fully_ explain when he started feeling nauseous and began throwing up.

"I give up…" he said in a green face.

On the other side of the city…

"alright… I see them coming. Everyone to your positions!"

"Right!"

"Lief, you _do_ know what you are doing, right?" asked a worried Jasmine.

"Of course I do!" he grinned.

"Well… it's just… that… I don't think… anyone… would fall… for such a trap…"

"Well, they aren't exactly anyone right?"

She gave him a confused look but he only smiled and went out to meet the Shadow Lord himself.

"Oi! Evil Shadow Lord! You look pale! Have you been clinging on your castle that long!"

"Why you little---!"

"Come catch me if you can then!" he shouted as he ran towards the city itself.

"Guards! What are you doing just standing there again!"

All the guards looked at him puzzled.

Ugh… this is hopeless. he mutters to himself.

"Do I have to spell it out for you! Seize him!"

Finally, something got done right as the guards chased him into the city. Unfortunately for them though, since they always traveled in groups and always kept their formation to intimidate the enemy—which the Shadow Lord taught them (quite impressive for the first time, huh?) They hardly avoided any sort of obstacle that came their way. Let's say the trees for example. Poisonous reptiles… disturbed bees… prickled bushes… you get the point.

It was quite easy for the others to round up the rest of the guards due to the lack of numbers.

"Uh-oh… Seems like you ran out of slaves for your protection, EVIL Shadow LORD." Lief said from the top of a tree.

"Not only that, I could see that they are as stupid as you are!"

"I will tend to you myself."

The Evil Shadow Lord had already pulled out his magic wand (in pink color with those huge stars at the tip and a pretty bow from the end.)

"What a _kawaii wand_" said the guard who was (at best, I think) in love with him.

"Shut up!" he said as he gave him a small zap. The guard was a bit toast.

"Now all you need is butter—which I'm pretty sure I can provide."

He pointed the wand at Barda and tried to give him a blast. Luckily, with his quick reflexes, he was able to dodge the attack. A few more shots came for him but on the last one, he wasn't so lucky.

"Barda!" both Lief and Jasmine shouted.

"I guess my reflexes aren't what they used to be…"

"Like they said, old man, never send a man to do a job if you can do it better than yourself."

"Where did that come from? A library book?"

"Shush! Now is my time to finish you off…" the Shadow Lord said as he neared Barda to do the trick.

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A/N: Should I stop here? You know for reviews sake? Hehe. No, Because I love you all that you've continued until here and not push the back button.

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He was only a few steps away from the grown man. He wanted to see his face when he was blast to oblivion.

So…

"What the---! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Imagine his surprise when he was so close and his feet slipped onto a HUGE pit on the ground.

"Looks like you should get more quotations like 'mind your surroundings'!" yelled Barda as he looked down (in perfect shape I might add) onto him and laughed.

"Why you---!"

He was about to cast a spell to possibly get himself out of there or curse Barda when he suddenly noticed that he had sat on his "cute" wand. He tried fixing it but it only turned out worse. Not only that, he felt as if he sprained his wrist.

"Um… You were saying?" teased Lief.

All of them laughed and left the Shadow Lord in the dark.

"first my wand… then my wrist… Oh well, could have been worse…"

With the help of Nevets, it did.

"There now." He said getting up and dusting off himself. "No harm don—aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!"

Before he got the chance to make a run for it or even realized what had happened, he got squashed by his numerous grey guards.

"Ugh…" he said grasping for air "I know I shouldn't have brought these many guards with me if they were going to use that against me… Well, could have been worse."

"My lord!" asked a very eager yet familiar voice.

It was his favorite grey guard.

"Great!" he yelled sarcastically. "Looks like I'm stuck with you once again…"

The guard, thinking it was a compliment, gave him a big wet kiss on his lips in spite of the heavy weight he was carrying.

"Eww… Stop that, would you…" he said trying to push him away to no avail. "Wait… do you smell that!"

All of them automatically looked at the fattest grey guard.

"Oops… sorry."

Right now, he would have strangled that guard if he wasn't been strangled himself. When he felt something or someone clutching his… ahem how do I put this? The opportunity for children if he wanted any…

He had totally lost it.

He took all his strength and despite his injuries, he managed to throw all of them off him. But he still couldn't get _this _guard off.

"Umm… Master…" he started as he took his arms off his master's neck.

The Shadow Lord paid no attention to him. he was so relieved that he got his neck back that he didn't quite pay attention to what that _imbecile_ had to say since to the Shadow Lord, he really didn't matter that much to him. but when he smelled something _funky_ once again, he looked at the fattest grey guard.

"Was that you again!" asked the Shadow Lord.

He was frustrated.

And who won't be!

After he had lost to the people of Del… again, he was thrown into a hole where he broke his favorite and only wand. Not only that, he had also broken one of his two wrists and possible more of his vertebral column and… he couldn't think anymore because he was remaining optimistic until the last of his blood was pumping in his veins. He kept saying to himself that 'something could have been worse…' but now, he had it up to here! (makes line above his height)

The guard shook his head frantically. Then he pointed a finger in his direction.

Thinking automatically it was the guard who was infatuated with him but even now, he was backing up from the Lord of Evil as well.

"What…"

He then noticed that something was dripping from his head onto his face. He looked up and some brown stuff fell onto his eyes.

"I wouldn't even start…" he said to the infatuated guard sounding tired and annoyed. "I'm going back to the Shadowlands… anyone who wants to come along…" they all fixated their eyes to him as he sighed. He seemed to have been drained out of all his optimism. "Just keep your distance, okay?"

All of them nodded as they went on ahead of the Shadow Lord. The infatuated guard stayed behind and tried to cheer his master up.

The Shadow Lord had now his head stooped so low onto the ground that he didn't even notice a…

"Sir… there's a…"

"WhaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Banana peel." Sighed his guard who tried to help him up.

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So how was it? Sorry if I hadn't tickled your funny bone that much. But here you are! You haven't pressed the back button yet! And I'm a happy soul -!

If you would have read the original copy then you would have certainly rolled on the ass laughing your evil ass off.

But that story is more childish than this one . and I didn't really want to spoil some _mature_ _adult's _mind there… so sorry.

If ever you do want to read it, just leave me a message saying that you do and I'll try to e-mail it to you.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed it as much as the Resistance did. Yes, we are still alive here somehow. Also, I apologize for the people who expected the Shadow Lord to be ruthless, cruel or stuff like that. The Resistance (our Resistance) was formed to get away from the Shadow Lord that was a bit of a sadist and was always standing in front of our classroom.

Yup… you got it right. The Shadow Lord was the name we gave our teacher. Why? Well… you could say that she wasn't actually _happy_ with _our ways._

No…

It's not what most of you guys are thinking. We didn't do anything illegal…

Except make fun of the way she teaches, doze off whenever possible, write THESE fanfictions and draw those fanart, bring out our phones and text each other even though we were just 2 seats apart…

I think you get our point.

But I think what really pissed her off was the fact that we weren't listening to her when we listen to every other teacher and that we aced every quiz she gave even if she didn't discuss anything about it.

Or maybe I'm getting a bit out of my head.

Anyway, hope you had fun and please continue reading more of my fics!

Leave a message if you were happy (or anything at all for that matter)

Shirisan

Oh, by the way, when you leave me a nice review—which I hope you do, please don't forget to include your name and one of the best stories you have written. I'll be glad to read them in my spare time and give you a review as well. Who knows? You might get an idea or two…

Plus… I do hope we get to be friends! 


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